Man of Many Names: Except for the One that Really Counts

I’ve been known as the boy next door, best friend forever when you need a shoulder to cry on, reassurance man when you wanted to hear “yes, we guys are dumb”, the comfort guy at the dance club when you didn’t want to dance with strangers, the hair holder guy at the end of the night (I hate holding hair btw), the human shield blocking you so you can pee in public and the supporter holding you up so your drunken queen can pee in a tub because the toilet was broken. Can’t you come over just to cuddle guy because boyfriend / girlfriend broke up with you, had a fight with family members or just because you were lonely. The latest title I’ve encountered is FBF (fake boyfriend); you love having the male attention, enjoyed me taking you out and paying for everything however do not want to be in a relationship or is it just a relationship with me?

I could continue with the list of ‘a.k.a’s and alias but the reality of it is this: “I just do not want to be known as just these.” I’m not writing this stating I want to get married right now; I’m saying I want to be given a chance. I want the same chance you gave the ‘bad boy’ you wanted to “change,” Mr. Wrong that treated you crap and ‘Mr. Not Right Now’ who only wanted to a relationship with you between the hours or midnight and 4am.

Stop trying to convince me “it’s you, not me.” Deep down inside, I know it’s me. It’s my fault for having a sweet mother for raising me to be a man and not a boy. It’s my fault for never wanting to treat a woman the same way I saw my mother treated while I was growing up. Maybe my flaw is not “moving in for the kill” quick enough. But as one of my friends put it in her blog today “I enjoy stages.” I wonder if it “enjoying stages” has backfired in my face though.

Though I enjoy knowing that I could pick up the phone and find someone to hangout with me pretty much whenever, it would be nice to only have to call one number and know the women on the other end calls me boyfriend.